Ten years ago today the world lost one of the most genuinely, kind women God ever created. Not a day goes by without her memory in my mind, and I know the same is true for those closest to her.
You never know what you have until it’s gone. I hate this quote because it’s so true and so difficult to swallow when we lose people we love, but something we all need to embrace and remember every day. We don’t appreciate the blessings in our lives because so many of us take them for granted. Why? Because they’ve become a comfortable, trusted element in a person’s life, only to find out that nothing is for eternity while on earth.
My grandma and grandpa were a huge part of my life growing up. As an accident baby (Yep, thanks to my dad’s anatomy class, you sit there reading this!), my parents hadn’t had all of their ducks in a row yet, so my grandparents babysat me a lot. Maybe it was that bond created at such an early age that I have always held them so dear and close to my heart. They continued pouring their love by showing up to choir concerts, attending sporting events, not missing birthdays or holidays, and allowing my sister and I to spend weekends with them just so we could enjoy their love even more.
I know I’ve stated before in other blogs, but I never realized how much I appreciated them taking the time to be a part of my life until my grandma passed away. She had allowed us to be a part of her life, to show us the life of a humble, loving, caring, honorable woman...the thought we need to remember as we live our own lives. I try to live by her memory by spending time with my friends and family as much as I can. Visiting my family all over the country and making sure they know I care about them. Keeping my cousins close to my heart and reaching out to them so they also know I’m here for them. The most essential part of life is love and sharing it with those you care about. I love my dearest friends and family, and I will NOT let them forget that.
It may seem weird, but sometimes I get the feeling that she’s thinking of me, or near me somehow. Sometimes I see people who look like her, and it’s like she’s inside them saying hello or letting me know she’s OK. Random things smell like her and the same thoughts flow through my head. The hardest experience to endure without her was my high school graduation, but as I was sitting there with hundreds of my other classmates, time stood still and I knew she was there in the crowd. Tears rolled down my face because she wasn’t there in the flesh, but my grandpa was. He represented them both, but I’m not sure if he’s realized how much that has meant to me throughout the last 10 years. I dearly love my Wilde side of the family because they’ve never held back their love for us and each other.
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. After my grandma passed away, my mom encouraged us girls to do everything we wanted to, even if that meant we weren’t home much. “Spend time with your friends, stay involved in church, participate in as many sports as you can, don’t hold back, don’t have regrets. Life is far too short.” My mom really embraced that last thought. I remember sitting in the car with her after my grandma passed away, and she told me not to ever forget it. To this day, I try to do everything I can to live by that request.
Her flesh may be gone from the earth, but her spirit lives on ever so strong in our hearts. When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.
If we don’t share with others the thoughts on our minds, we allow them to miss out. Maybe we don’t let our emotions out about the people we love, the things we want to accomplish, or tell others about those who’ve influenced us. If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater. No matter what the case may be, we do ourselves and those around us a disservice by not saying what’s on our minds. We may miss out on potential happiness or making a difference in someone’s life.
“I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.”
She may be gone, but her memory has shaped my life and attitude. I know she’s watching and all I can hope is that everything I do makes her proud.
Treasure and share the memories inside you. Love like there’s no tomorrow. Boldly challenge status quo.
I am sure that your grandmother is looking down on you with TONS of pride! You are a wonderful woman Brit! What a great post dedicated to your grandma! Let's also hope your dad's anatomy classes stop with this post :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jess!
ReplyDeleteAs for the anatomy classes, that was 25 years ago, and thanks to medical procedures, there will be no more children for my parentals :) lol