Saying goodbye to Peter Pan, Mrs. Doubtfire, the Genie, our friend - Robin Williams

This is something I wrote the day I went to the Doubtfire house in Pacific Heights here in San Francisco. I found it again, and thought the words mean just as much now as back in Aug. '14...

I found myself drawn to say goodbye to a friend that never knew me, but was a significant part of our lives.

It's tragic that someone so full of life, love and laughter felt so empty and overcome by dark demons.

We all find ourselves in darkness blinded by sadness, frustration, guilt and doubt. Yet, it's how we crawl, climb or sprint out of the shadows and into the light that keep us moving forward.

It's a reminder that life is short, family is important, friends are essential.


Don't hold back. Take every opportunity to inspire, challenge, grow, and love. You never know when it may be your last and God calls you home.

What will you leave behind?

Regrets or memories?

Boldly challenging status quo.

Time and Peace

Time is everything.

It's the allotted amount of existence we have to accomplish everything our little hearts desire. It's also the burden that weighs down on our hearts when we feel like there's not enough of it.

The act of time can also be either a beautiful canvas when every swoop, swish and flick aligns perfectly for a spectacular masterpiece. It can also mean disaster when the everything wrong collides to create a terrible catastrophe. Maybe, just maybe, the right paints, brushes, and strokes come together, but a different sketch is drawn that takes you on a different course all together away from comfort and peace.

Why is it that some depictions are exactly what you intended, while others become silent, foreign ships that pass each other unknowingly in the night?

I'm not sure why quotes are incredibly awe-inspiring lately, but I read another quote today that actually brought me to tears:

"You can never be at peace until you find peace within yourself."

30 Regrets Not to Have in My Next 30 Years

I’ve spent precious time with my Papa Wilde, either on road trips or sitting on his back porch reminiscing about the past, talking hopefully about the future, but always with a voice of reason and caution. Now, as a man of leisure, he says, he has a lot of time to reflect and he’s spent some of that time wishing he had made other choices – been a better father, husband, etc. I wish he wouldn’t spend time regretting, but in fact, spend more time cherishing the great memories he did make and all the new ones yet to come.

Since my grandma passed about now almost 14 years ago, (man, that crushes my soul thinking about it), I think he wishes he would have made more of the time he’d had with her. She was, in fact, a beautiful, selfless, loving person who, to this day, is everything I hope to be someday. I don’t think she had a bad bone in her body, and even if someone told me she wasn’t perfect, I wouldn’t believe them ;)

The reason for this blog is because you never know when God will call you home. You shouldn’t exhaust precious moments wishing you had done things differently. To deflect that initially, you have to put the right people and plans first, but be willing to change course for the better if life sends you on a new adventure.

My Papa’s reflections, as sad as it makes me when I think about it, are valuable to me - to remind me not to have those regrets later, to remember to value the right people and things in life.

I’ll be thirty at the end of this year. Holy shit. I can’t believe it. Before I get there, here are 30 regrets I don’t want to have in my next 30 years.

1. Spending too little time with the right people. – Sooner or later, you just want to be around the people who make you smile. So today, spend time with those who help you love yourself more. And remember, the people you take for granted today may be the only ones you need tomorrow. Never be too busy to make time for those who matter most.
2. Not making your loved ones smile more often. – The most beautiful thing is to see a person you love smile, and even more beautiful is knowing that you are the reason behind it.

When life flashes before your eyes, will it be worth watching?

It's been awhile since we last met. I moved to San Francisco, traveled to a few new cities, my little sister got married, and I graduated with my MBA. I've met many new friends and spent precious time with old ones.

My dog, Blaze, and I are still thick as thieves hiking, backpacking, running, and swimming until we have no further energy to give.

OK, OK. Confession. I certainly get to a point of exhaustion sometimes, whereas Blaze is still ready to ascend another mountain or sprint through more trees. Rude, I tell you. No reason to show off like that in front of your owner and embarrass her! At least I have another being willing to keep up with me on a moment’s notice.

Anyway, I sit here on the beach watching the sun go down behind the Golden Gate Bridge with only a few crazy souls in the "cold" San Francisco winter wind. By no means is it Chicago weather, but we Californians are pansies. We can't deal with cold to save our lives.

It's dark and quiet, almost too quiet for this city. The water is calm and smooth; not at all fierce and threatening. I can’t hear any traffic, any voices, or really any noise pollution apart from my soft music and ocean waves.

I have finally jumped on the Spotify bandwagon after years of stubborn, brand-loyal me couldn't walk away from Pandora. This is relevant because my playlist is The Most Beautiful Songs in the World. Add calm waves and a light cool breeze, it's the makings of a reflective, thought-filled evening.

Pause. My fingers are about to fall off from the cold. It's 55°F and I've become a wuss. Too bad I don't have logs to make a beach fire. It's probably for the better as I’d get too comfortable and wake up to cops or bums telling me to get to steppin’.

Life's New Adventure: Poor-dom

It's been a moment since I've been inspired to blog. That's not true. I'm inspired every day by the people I meet, the things people do for others, and the things I learn. Honestly, I've been a busy gal lately and took a hiatus from writing.

Let's catch up. I've completed my MBA in International Business, moved to San Francisco and moved up to a National Account Manager at Yelp, brought on a new furry family member, been to a few more weddings and will be maid of honor in my sister's (I swear I'm close to 27 Dresses at this point), met some inspiring people both young and old, and traveled all around the world.

I'm now about to embark on a new adventure of poor-dom. I'm moving into the exciting, inspiring, never dull city of San Francisco where rent is half of my monthly pay check. It's unnerving, exciting, scary, and a brand new adventure I can't fully take advantage of quite yet. What I will learn is to be incredibly conscience of money in and out, which I've never worried much about. I wish I had this issue when I was younger so I could keep up with my friends, but that's probably where I get myself in trouble regardless ;) Luckily, most SF people are in the same boat. They've all dealt with it for ages, where I'm a newbie yuppy.

Look forward to blogs coming at you as it's cheap entertainment for me! Boldly challenging status quo!

Tough Mudder Symbolizes Life's Adventure

I've been in love with challenge courses, but the ultimate big daddy is Tough Mudder.

Tough Mudder, to me, symbolizes life - extreme, full of crazy obstacles, some times you sweat and others you freeze, you may be in over your head and loose your grip, but if you surround yourself with solid-minded, inspirational, entertaining, high-achieving, supportive people, you’ll not only enjoy the journey, but you’ll come out on top. I crave the challenge and I’m not afraid to get dirty. My personality and drive perfectly fits the Tough Mudder Credo and I can't tell you how excited I get when I see a fellow Mudder proudly wearing the TM threads!

I’m currently surrounded by the youthful embrace of individualism and teamwork, a lot like my experience of Tough Mudder. It’s absolutely true that the eclectic and electric environment is a lifestyle. I’ve worked in stuffy environments, and who gets excited to wake up and go to that? I love to work with people who are driven and charismatic that may either love what I love or introduce me to new things. I believe a life surrounded by people who not only challenge you to go outside your comfort zone, but also support your endeavors is essential to a life of fun and fulfillment.

Protecting this type of environment is so important because it allows open minds, creative thinking, and bold moves. Giving people a platform to share ideas and own them, gives them the power to shine, but also helps the company to succeed. Individually, we can achieve what we set our minds to, but with the force of many heads together, a small idea can become reality and beyond. I fully embrace this lifestyle with flare and vigor.

Tough Mudder is my IV, shooting me up with essential elements of excitement, challenges and an exhilarating story to tell.

Live tough by boldly challenging status quo.

The Key to Success is to Out-Hustle Everyone

I won't take credit for this quote, but I absolutely believe in it. A friend of mine saw this and sent it to me because the article reminded him of me. What a compliment, right?!

I strive to kick ass no matter where I am and it's usually a positive thing, until I'm on the same playing field as others. At work or in school, people find me as this super threat because I work my butt off and typically, no matter what anyone does or says, I keep at it at a supernova speed. Well, I'm sorry to say, maybe I am a threat. No, I don't have super powers (if I did, I'd want to fly!), I'm not crazy (yet), and no, I don't go all out to throw it in your face. I don't boast about my wins, but I will continue to work hard to reach my next bench mark.

When life gives you lemons, bite ‘em!

When life gives you lemons, bite ‘em and enjoy the sour taste as it drains down your throat. Next time, you’ll be better equipped to deal with it, even though it’ll still be hardcore painful.

Sometimes, the toughest situations that make you grind your teeth and make you want to cry in frustration are typically the ones that shape who you become in life. If you easily stride through life without obstacles, then you aren’t putting yourself out there and you aren’t really living. I’ve found myself in countless situations where there was a solid fork in the road...AND for some reason, I always choose the Amazon jungle. Luckily, I know how to use a machete to get through the toughest of terrain.

Time Spent with Family is the BEST Time Ever

Well overdue too, I have to say the weekend I spent with my cousin, Hailey, was some of the best memories I’ve had in Phoenix yet!

Background: The Crowe family lives on the San Juan Islands in the most Northwest region of the States. My family used to camp there every summer, and when my grandparents lived in Washington, I’d see them a few more times than just Christmas. However, now that we’re all getting older and meeting together only happens once a year in December, it gets tough!

I have said before, family is the BEST gift I could ask for. I know what it’s like for family not to care, spend time with you, and ignore you, so I’ve made it my mission to be a part of my cousins’, Hailey and Bjerre, lives. Hailey is now a whopping 15-year-old and Bjerre is a 4-year-old turning 15 :)

Hails, or more affectionately known as Booger, and I try to stay in touch as much as possible. Facebook, phone calls, texting, you name it! She’s called me when friends are evil to her, she confides in me about her dreams, among other things. I know she looks up to me, which gives me that much more pride and joy to be there for her....and let’s face it, keep myself in line!