Saying goodbye to Peter Pan, Mrs. Doubtfire, the Genie, our friend - Robin Williams

This is something I wrote the day I went to the Doubtfire house in Pacific Heights here in San Francisco. I found it again, and thought the words mean just as much now as back in Aug. '14...

I found myself drawn to say goodbye to a friend that never knew me, but was a significant part of our lives.

It's tragic that someone so full of life, love and laughter felt so empty and overcome by dark demons.

We all find ourselves in darkness blinded by sadness, frustration, guilt and doubt. Yet, it's how we crawl, climb or sprint out of the shadows and into the light that keep us moving forward.

It's a reminder that life is short, family is important, friends are essential.


Don't hold back. Take every opportunity to inspire, challenge, grow, and love. You never know when it may be your last and God calls you home.

What will you leave behind?

Regrets or memories?

Boldly challenging status quo.

Time and Peace

Time is everything.

It's the allotted amount of existence we have to accomplish everything our little hearts desire. It's also the burden that weighs down on our hearts when we feel like there's not enough of it.

The act of time can also be either a beautiful canvas when every swoop, swish and flick aligns perfectly for a spectacular masterpiece. It can also mean disaster when the everything wrong collides to create a terrible catastrophe. Maybe, just maybe, the right paints, brushes, and strokes come together, but a different sketch is drawn that takes you on a different course all together away from comfort and peace.

Why is it that some depictions are exactly what you intended, while others become silent, foreign ships that pass each other unknowingly in the night?

I'm not sure why quotes are incredibly awe-inspiring lately, but I read another quote today that actually brought me to tears:

"You can never be at peace until you find peace within yourself."

When life flashes before your eyes, will it be worth watching?

It's been awhile since we last met. I moved to San Francisco, traveled to a few new cities, my little sister got married, and I graduated with my MBA. I've met many new friends and spent precious time with old ones.

My dog, Blaze, and I are still thick as thieves hiking, backpacking, running, and swimming until we have no further energy to give.

OK, OK. Confession. I certainly get to a point of exhaustion sometimes, whereas Blaze is still ready to ascend another mountain or sprint through more trees. Rude, I tell you. No reason to show off like that in front of your owner and embarrass her! At least I have another being willing to keep up with me on a moment’s notice.

Anyway, I sit here on the beach watching the sun go down behind the Golden Gate Bridge with only a few crazy souls in the "cold" San Francisco winter wind. By no means is it Chicago weather, but we Californians are pansies. We can't deal with cold to save our lives.

It's dark and quiet, almost too quiet for this city. The water is calm and smooth; not at all fierce and threatening. I can’t hear any traffic, any voices, or really any noise pollution apart from my soft music and ocean waves.

I have finally jumped on the Spotify bandwagon after years of stubborn, brand-loyal me couldn't walk away from Pandora. This is relevant because my playlist is The Most Beautiful Songs in the World. Add calm waves and a light cool breeze, it's the makings of a reflective, thought-filled evening.

Pause. My fingers are about to fall off from the cold. It's 55°F and I've become a wuss. Too bad I don't have logs to make a beach fire. It's probably for the better as I’d get too comfortable and wake up to cops or bums telling me to get to steppin’.

Spring Break Trip to Dallas

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Better late than never, right?

Based on my M.O., nothing should surprise you. Five weeks ago was Spring Break in Curtis (my little 600 person WITH students town, an hour away from any sort of mass civilization) and I was stuck here, all alone, with zero students. I had a few projects to do for NCTA, and during the evenings, I worked on my personal portfolio. I watched so many movies I almost don’t ever want to see another again. Almost.

Two students came back early to work at a bull sale from Thursday through Monday of break. Well, after a day, they were told they weren’t needed during the weekend. I joked about going to Dallas Thursday night and didn’t think anything of it. Friday rolled around and I finished all of my week’s projects and started craving sushi, so I asked the guys if they wanted to go after their work was done.

On my way to North Platte (for those of you who don’t know, I live an hour away from any kind of civilization), I got the itch. The itch to go to Dallas. By the time I was halfway, I stopped and asked the guys if they wanted to go to Dallas. Seriously go to Dallas! I’m not sure if they really thought I was serious, but Jed reluctantly and Matt excitedly said yes! So I turned around, packed my bags, and waited for the guys to get home. They knocked on my door, and as I exuberantly jumped up to open it, their faces were full of shock, uncertainty, and unease. Not sure if that was because I was as excited as a little child in a candy store, but let’s pretend that wasn’t the case.

What is love?

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When I think of this, all I want to do is break out into song... "What is love? Baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more!" But that's not what I want to talk about, yet when you love someone, they're bound to hurt you. If you love them enough, is it worth it to work through the pain to make it better?

One of my students asked me the other day what love meant to me, and she told me she'd explain later. Background: This student doesn't use the word love lightly. Her and her parents hardly even use it for each other, as it's assumed their love is already known. Apparently a few students feel the same way. "People (family & friends) should just know I love them. There's no need to say it."

Wow, to me, there should never be a day you don't tell the people you love, that you indeed love them. I'm only 25, but there have already been instances where I wish I would have told close family or friends I loved them more. You never know when today will be their last. Or yours.

50 Lists to Write to Lift Your Spirits OR to Simply Just Think About

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I love lists. I'd forget my head half the time if it wasn't attached!  If I don't write things down, I forget (thanks Dad). And then I feel extremely empowered when I finish a task and blissfully scratch it off my list. Then there are times when I write as a form of thinking, brainstorming, processing, reflecting. Sometimes getting everything out on paper puts me at ease when my mind is racing.

So when you have those times, or if you just feel like reflecting, come back to this list. You never know how your answers will change over time, and which ones don't. Have fun!

List as many as you can:

1. People who have influenced or inspired you
2. Things you are grateful for
3. Places you have been
4. Places you want to go
5. Books you’ve read

100 Things I Learned About Nebraska or What It Has Taught Me

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1. Huskers or Bust.
2. “Farmers” grow crops. “Ranchers” raise cattle. “Trucks” are semis. “Pickups” are the things most people drive. 
3. Farmers never get tax refund checks.
4. Slow life is comfortable. Big cities are normally unnerving.
5. Many have never been farther than 100-200 miles from home, let alone in a plane.
6. Can't stand to be indoors.
7. Always willing to help. Even with the not-so-fun jobs.
8. Dogs are house hold commodities. Cats are a given (outside) for mousing purposes.
9. Small animal 4-H is a joke. Livestock showing is their art.
10. Can start driving at 13.
11. Beer is always available after a day of work.
12. To gain respect fast, don't be afraid to get dirt under your fingernails. Eating a fresh rocky mountain oyster does the trick too.

Stop, Look & Listen

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Side note: My title makes me want to yell out in a cheer from high school! (Dedicated to my Wolf Pack!)

I get so annoyed with myself. When friends are stressed, heartbroken, unnerved, or frustrated with life, my heart literally aches for them and I can’t seem to get it off my mind. The motherly instinct kicks in (and I don’t even have kids yet!! Good grief!) and I just want to fix everything. I hate when I can’t help people, or fix problems. It’s the same reason why I hate when people are disappointed or mad at me, and I have no control over changing their opinion. Why is it that we have such deep bonds like this for our dearest friends and feel helpless when we can’t fix the pain, or why we go to any length to help those in need? But more so, why don’t we trust each other enough to be completely open and honest so those of us that want to fix it can pinpoint the problem!?

Simple answer. We’re human. Past experiences of others destroying our capability to trust others. The thought that others are judging us for being “weak” when pouring our hearts out. Because we have become a selfish public without genuine care or the art of listening. And because it becomes humorous when we struggle with ignorance. If you saw a man repeatedly running into a wall until he was a bloody pulp, after awhile it would make you laugh because it was so absurd. For this exact reason, we throw the wall up to relieve ourselves from embarrassment. It is unfortunate that we build walls so high and tough, that few people know how to break through. No one wants to get hurt, but life isn’t about being safe.

Strength in a Weakness

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I used to hate writing. English was my least favorite subject and I dreaded writing multiple page papers. My love during grade school was dissecting the unknown of science, but most of all living a life to better the lives of those around me. The same still exists. Every day is an adventure waiting for me to take hold and discover its meaning. Each presents opportunities to influence lives and cherish the memories created.

I may not articulate my thoughts perfectly or use the most intelligent words, but I’m not trying to impress you with my words. I’m trying to spark something inside you. Maybe one of my blogs will take ahold of you, or awaken some part of you that’s been dead. Maybe they’ll influence you to pay good things forward instead of hold a grudge about someone who’s done you wrong. Maybe you won’t agree with me, or maybe you will. I don’t mind either way. These are my thoughts. I don’t want to think for you. I don’t want to puppet your life. But I do want you to challenge yourself to be the best you can be. Not to give yourself excuses. Those are worthless. Life will have many obstacles and it’s how you overcome them that makes you who you are or who you want to become.

Remembering the Life of Julene Wilde

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Ten years ago today the world lost one of the most genuinely, kind women God ever created. Not a day goes by without her memory in my mind, and I know the same is true for those closest to her.

You never know what you have until it’s gone. I hate this quote because it’s so true and so difficult to swallow when we lose people we love, but something we all need to embrace and remember every day. We don’t appreciate the blessings in our lives because so many of us take them for granted. Why? Because they’ve become a comfortable, trusted element in a person’s life, only to find out that nothing is for eternity while on earth.

My grandma and grandpa were a huge part of my life growing up. As an accident baby (Yep, thanks to my dad’s anatomy class, you sit there reading this!), my parents hadn’t had all of their ducks in a row yet, so my grandparents babysat me a lot. Maybe it was that bond created at such an early age that I have always held them so dear and close to my heart. They continued pouring their love by showing up to choir concerts, attending sporting events, not missing birthdays or holidays, and allowing my sister and I to spend weekends with them just so we could enjoy their love even more.

My Epiphany

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While I was applying for grad school, the same question I kept getting asked was something along the lines of “What are your long term career goals?” Well, crap! I had no idea what to say because I haven’t figured that out yet. I wrote about some compilation of ideas between reaching out, collegiate success for others, technology or retail industries, and making a difference and non-profit work. The goals changed depending on the day I was writing my application essays.

After I filled out double digits of applications to top universities across the world, I started thinking I’d enjoy international event planning. Planning large entertainment events across the world would be such a FUN career! A former professor of mine does just that which is where I got the idea. But how do I get into that?

I started looking into headquarters of restaurants, resorts, golf tournaments, retail stores, travel agencies, and every other headquarters in between that could possibly get me to that overall goal. (I’m pretty sure once I move to Phoenix, every agency will know who Britni Freiboth is because they all have my resume!)

But then I started thinking about my essays and what the underlying messages were that I was trying to imply. I thoroughly enjoy the satisfaction of putting others before myself in any situation. However, I delight in fighting for a good cause to raise money whether I participate in running activities, or creating my own charity events. I believe I was born to fight for those who cannot or will not fight for what is ethically right. I am a firm believer in what is popular is not always right, but what is right is not always popular, and I live my life based on influencing others to choose based on ethical values. I have a genuine, passionate, competitive, active personality, which is a deadly combination. Once I set my mind on a goal, I will achieve it no matter what obstacles fall in my way. If I can teach others or help others achieve their goals along the way, I will have succeeded.

Ideas for Lasting Relationships

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I read an article the other morning about lasting relationships, which perfectly enough, I quoted in a conversation later that day. One of my students was having a bad day, not knowing why she would just all of a sudden start crying for no apparent reason. I told her to come find me if she needed to talk. I had a sneaky suspicion, but sometimes it’s hard for people to say things out loud because it makes it real. I know that all to well from my own personal relationships. But I also know that not talking about the things on our minds, the harder it is to logically think through the madness.

She showed up in my office a few hours later. We had our initial small talk session and then I went right into what was going on. I nailed it. She was having personal problems with her boy friend, but she didn’t want to really deal with them because she cares so much for him that she kept locking the frustrations away, only to finally break down “without any apparent reason.” The ever-present, yet constantly consciously forgotten, “Love is Blind” came into full swing. Why is it that so many people try to rationalize issues that will later destroy a relationship just because they remember “the good times?” Anyway, I pulled out the listed characteristics and gave it to her straight.

When considering a “soulmate,” you better have these characteristics figured out:

Don't Just Settle with a Job

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The other day I went over to a house, which I consider a home, in Curtis with people I feel are my family. The Wetzels were the first couple I met in Curtis while I was flying back and forth from Dallas when my boss and I were trying to do business from afar. Instead of staying at the local hotel, George insisted I stay with the Wetzels to feel more welcomed and a part of the community while I was visiting. Maybe he had some sort of intuition knowing I’d end up moving to this tiny American rural and dying town.

The Wetzels knew George when they went to the agriculture high school together back in the early 1950s, which is now a University of Nebraska branch campus. The Wetzels’ kind hearts reeled George in and gave him a place to share and relax without worrying about being politically correct. They have been a godsend as they’ve continued that with me. I always know I’ll get a warm welcome and hugs all around when I visit. The Wetzels are truly the most genuine, kind, and loving people I’ve met here, and honestly don’t know if my sanity level would be the same without them.

My Adventurous Bucket List

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Pandora current song: It's My Life, Bon Jovi

(in no particular order)

Adventures

1. Run more half marathons 
2. Sky dive 
3. Bungee jump off something tall 
4. Learn how to rock climb better 
5. White water raft a crazy river 
6. Ride the tallest roller coaster 
7. Ride the fastest roller coaster 
8. Watch a NY Broadway show 
9. See the Lion King on Broadway in NY 
10. Swim with dolphins 
11. Swim with sting rays 
12. Swim with sharks 
13. Climb/hike to the top of a mountain 
14. Go on a cruise 
15. Hike the Appalachian Trail 
16. Cycle through Provence 
17. Climb Machu Picchu 
18. Swim in the Great Barrier Reef 
19. Bike the Golden Gate Bridge 

What really matters in life

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I was asked to write what I would want to tell young ones I loved, if I only had two minutes to live. Since I love you all, I'll share it with you...

What really matters in life is that you take chances. Don't ever settle. Ever. You have so much to offer in this world even if you don't believe it. Find others who don't believe in themselves and make them believe that they matter. Be selfless. The more you look out for others the better you'll feel about yourself. Be humble. It's the hardest thing to do, but do it. Be the first to say you're sorry, even if it's not your fault. Make sure you spend time with family. You may not think it matters to them that you are present for a football game or choir concert, but when you aren't around any more they will appreciate the time you took to be with them. Leave a legacy that inspires others.

If you had minutes left in your life, what would you say? 

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What was I thinking?

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Pandora current song: She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5

In my summer blogs, I mentioned I was pursuing a job as a recruiter for Washington State University. I was trying to find something I could hold on to. Something solid. My life is ever consumed with uncertainty. I’ve been blessed with a life full experiences I’ve either forced on myself or have been lucky to be a part of. Yet, there’s still something missing. The satisfaction of accomplishing something, whether for a greater good or for those that need a push to start their own adventure, doesn’t ever seem to ever be completely fulfilled. Is it because I’m alone and don’t have someone to share it with? Maybe. Is it the fact that I am unsure of my future? Absolutely. Or what about the instability of the present? Sure. How about all of the above, plus trying to put a smile on my face so I can create and explore new opportunities for my students so they can get the most out of their college year? Shall I keep going?

What's next in my life?

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Pandora current song: Imma Be, by Black Eyed Peas

What do I want to do with the rest of my life? The fear of the unknown has haunted me since I switch out of veterinary medicine junior year of college. At least with that, hard work and extensive years in school would have assured me of a job in a solid field. With this crummy economy, a communications/advertising degree is worthless. Most companies in the mysterious, artistic world of communications are not hiring. Many classmates are stuck working in temporary jobs and/or living at home to await their future fates. Thankfully, I have a solid job in the crazy world of real-estate management and collegiate student involvement. Unfortunately for me, the location will never satisfy me for so many reasons. The people I converse with are kind and genuine, but I truly miss the city life with endless activities, outings with friends my age, and exciting outdoor excursions. Living in the city is never boring and even in a city where people live in close quarters, there are always places to go to find your peace of mind.

Life Revolving Around Rumors

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Pandora current song: How to Save a Life, by The Fray

Rumors are a dirty game. Rumors can lie, cheat and steal someone’s life and those who start them, lose out too. Sometimes they’re based on stereotype and then stories just seem to flourish. Even stereotypes are a bad way to think you “know” someone. Granted we all use them on a daily basis, otherwise it would take too long to understand every miniscule piece of information that’s passed through our eyes to our brains. But rumors have an even worse connotation.

I’m sure rumors have been started about you, so how’d you feel? Like scum on the bottom of a sink drain, right? So why do people find joy in passing rumors. Sometimes it’s due to jealous feelings regarding something they don’t have or something they wish they didn’t. Sometimes it’s due to overcompensating a true story. However it starts, it’s gossip that’s usually a mixture of truth and untruth. Most people don’t take the time to figure out what’s true or not and just believe it all as fact.

The little town of Curtis

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Pandora current song: Grey Street, by Dave Matthews Band 

OK. So I feel like I didn't give the little town of Curtis justice. Yes, it's hard for me to live here with nothing but work to do, but when I'm really honest with myself, it has a lot to offer.

I used to drive through little towns, like Washtucna, WA, on my way to school and I thought nothing of them. Now living in one of those small farming and ranching towns, I've come to understand what they are really about.

In the beginning...

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Pandora current song: Cry Baby Cry, by The Beattles

Hello friends,

I've finally decided to write my blog. Didn't know what to write, but I think I've got it! My daily challenges, empowerment, obstacles, mentoring, living, loving, and everything in between.

As for me, I'm not your every day girl. Yeah I wake up every morning wishing I were thinner, prettier, wiser, taller, blah blah blah. But what really matters is the way I live my life, my decisions and the opportunities that I've been able to partake in at a young age.

Here's a "little" background...