30 Regrets Not to Have in My Next 30 Years

I’ve spent precious time with my Papa Wilde, either on road trips or sitting on his back porch reminiscing about the past, talking hopefully about the future, but always with a voice of reason and caution. Now, as a man of leisure, he says, he has a lot of time to reflect and he’s spent some of that time wishing he had made other choices – been a better father, husband, etc. I wish he wouldn’t spend time regretting, but in fact, spend more time cherishing the great memories he did make and all the new ones yet to come.

Since my grandma passed about now almost 14 years ago, (man, that crushes my soul thinking about it), I think he wishes he would have made more of the time he’d had with her. She was, in fact, a beautiful, selfless, loving person who, to this day, is everything I hope to be someday. I don’t think she had a bad bone in her body, and even if someone told me she wasn’t perfect, I wouldn’t believe them ;)

The reason for this blog is because you never know when God will call you home. You shouldn’t exhaust precious moments wishing you had done things differently. To deflect that initially, you have to put the right people and plans first, but be willing to change course for the better if life sends you on a new adventure.

My Papa’s reflections, as sad as it makes me when I think about it, are valuable to me - to remind me not to have those regrets later, to remember to value the right people and things in life.

I’ll be thirty at the end of this year. Holy shit. I can’t believe it. Before I get there, here are 30 regrets I don’t want to have in my next 30 years.

1. Spending too little time with the right people. – Sooner or later, you just want to be around the people who make you smile. So today, spend time with those who help you love yourself more. And remember, the people you take for granted today may be the only ones you need tomorrow. Never be too busy to make time for those who matter most.
2. Not making your loved ones smile more often. – The most beautiful thing is to see a person you love smile, and even more beautiful is knowing that you are the reason behind it.

Finding a Meaningful, Tangible Purpose

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How do you find a purpose in things that aren’t tangible? I’ve found that question tough to answer in a career that’s ever-changing. Not only do I not know what I want to do when I grow up, I feel like I can’t find my footing to even propel from.

For me, tangible accomplishments are a big deal. I know I work hard, but typically, I find myself being “too much” that it becomes a negative energy. Unfortunately, I don’t really know how to dial down my intensity. I don’t know how to communicate to other people that I’m not out for their positions or jobs. I’m sure the way I attack life is a bit off-putting because I work my butt off for what I want or do. I’m a threat to people who can just casually go about their days. Sadly, I find those kind of people frustrating - so much so that they suck the life out of me!

I think the biggest energy suck is not having a tangible, meaningful purpose or goal. I’ve had to step back and refocus myself - some of it at work, but much of it in my personal life. I’m so much more satisfied overall when I workout in the mornings. Giving myself goals like beating my last half-marathon time, finding human marks on the mountain I’m going to pass, and surrounding myself with other crazy fitness freaks. Since I know that, I’m that much more fulfilled when I stick with at least that.

Continuing the Tradition of a Full Plate

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Moving to Phoenix has been such a blessing. I practically jumped head first into a sea of opportunities left and right, not knowing when to stop or say no. Those closest to me know that's exactly how I like it – a full calendar with her hands in everything.

Working for Yelp with wonderful people I can connect with on different levels is something I was definitely missing in Nebraska, and really, even before then. I’m surrounded by intelligent, forward-thinking, entertaining, and constant-strivers-to-be-better people. I have never been as awestruck by the caliber of so many people working for one company as I am with my coworkers at Yelp. Everyone helps everyone succeed. It’s not a blood bath of ignorant, self-serving vampires whom I have worked with in almost every capacity of my past. OK, minus the fangs. I’ve made so many great memories (among them being annihilated by a swarm of Africanized Killer Bees on Camelback Mountain) with so many more to come.

Stop, Look & Listen

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Side note: My title makes me want to yell out in a cheer from high school! (Dedicated to my Wolf Pack!)

I get so annoyed with myself. When friends are stressed, heartbroken, unnerved, or frustrated with life, my heart literally aches for them and I can’t seem to get it off my mind. The motherly instinct kicks in (and I don’t even have kids yet!! Good grief!) and I just want to fix everything. I hate when I can’t help people, or fix problems. It’s the same reason why I hate when people are disappointed or mad at me, and I have no control over changing their opinion. Why is it that we have such deep bonds like this for our dearest friends and feel helpless when we can’t fix the pain, or why we go to any length to help those in need? But more so, why don’t we trust each other enough to be completely open and honest so those of us that want to fix it can pinpoint the problem!?

Simple answer. We’re human. Past experiences of others destroying our capability to trust others. The thought that others are judging us for being “weak” when pouring our hearts out. Because we have become a selfish public without genuine care or the art of listening. And because it becomes humorous when we struggle with ignorance. If you saw a man repeatedly running into a wall until he was a bloody pulp, after awhile it would make you laugh because it was so absurd. For this exact reason, we throw the wall up to relieve ourselves from embarrassment. It is unfortunate that we build walls so high and tough, that few people know how to break through. No one wants to get hurt, but life isn’t about being safe.

Strength in a Weakness

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I used to hate writing. English was my least favorite subject and I dreaded writing multiple page papers. My love during grade school was dissecting the unknown of science, but most of all living a life to better the lives of those around me. The same still exists. Every day is an adventure waiting for me to take hold and discover its meaning. Each presents opportunities to influence lives and cherish the memories created.

I may not articulate my thoughts perfectly or use the most intelligent words, but I’m not trying to impress you with my words. I’m trying to spark something inside you. Maybe one of my blogs will take ahold of you, or awaken some part of you that’s been dead. Maybe they’ll influence you to pay good things forward instead of hold a grudge about someone who’s done you wrong. Maybe you won’t agree with me, or maybe you will. I don’t mind either way. These are my thoughts. I don’t want to think for you. I don’t want to puppet your life. But I do want you to challenge yourself to be the best you can be. Not to give yourself excuses. Those are worthless. Life will have many obstacles and it’s how you overcome them that makes you who you are or who you want to become.

Remembering the Life of Julene Wilde

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Ten years ago today the world lost one of the most genuinely, kind women God ever created. Not a day goes by without her memory in my mind, and I know the same is true for those closest to her.

You never know what you have until it’s gone. I hate this quote because it’s so true and so difficult to swallow when we lose people we love, but something we all need to embrace and remember every day. We don’t appreciate the blessings in our lives because so many of us take them for granted. Why? Because they’ve become a comfortable, trusted element in a person’s life, only to find out that nothing is for eternity while on earth.

My grandma and grandpa were a huge part of my life growing up. As an accident baby (Yep, thanks to my dad’s anatomy class, you sit there reading this!), my parents hadn’t had all of their ducks in a row yet, so my grandparents babysat me a lot. Maybe it was that bond created at such an early age that I have always held them so dear and close to my heart. They continued pouring their love by showing up to choir concerts, attending sporting events, not missing birthdays or holidays, and allowing my sister and I to spend weekends with them just so we could enjoy their love even more.

My Epiphany

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While I was applying for grad school, the same question I kept getting asked was something along the lines of “What are your long term career goals?” Well, crap! I had no idea what to say because I haven’t figured that out yet. I wrote about some compilation of ideas between reaching out, collegiate success for others, technology or retail industries, and making a difference and non-profit work. The goals changed depending on the day I was writing my application essays.

After I filled out double digits of applications to top universities across the world, I started thinking I’d enjoy international event planning. Planning large entertainment events across the world would be such a FUN career! A former professor of mine does just that which is where I got the idea. But how do I get into that?

I started looking into headquarters of restaurants, resorts, golf tournaments, retail stores, travel agencies, and every other headquarters in between that could possibly get me to that overall goal. (I’m pretty sure once I move to Phoenix, every agency will know who Britni Freiboth is because they all have my resume!)

But then I started thinking about my essays and what the underlying messages were that I was trying to imply. I thoroughly enjoy the satisfaction of putting others before myself in any situation. However, I delight in fighting for a good cause to raise money whether I participate in running activities, or creating my own charity events. I believe I was born to fight for those who cannot or will not fight for what is ethically right. I am a firm believer in what is popular is not always right, but what is right is not always popular, and I live my life based on influencing others to choose based on ethical values. I have a genuine, passionate, competitive, active personality, which is a deadly combination. Once I set my mind on a goal, I will achieve it no matter what obstacles fall in my way. If I can teach others or help others achieve their goals along the way, I will have succeeded.

Why do we do the crazy things we do?

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Pandora current song: Breathe In, Frou Frou

Self-presentation and perception. This is a major theme of thought in peoples’ minds whether directly or indirectly. What we do, how we do it, what we wear, what we say is all a part of identity for ourselves in others’ minds. It is in our culture to come up with excuses for things done wrong. Who wants to take the blame and be the dimwit who made the mistake, especially if it wasn’t even our fault? Humility and honor is a characteristic we put on the shelf when we really need it most. Yet, it is good for our identity to admit mistakes and show our vulnerability. Actions we take also account for our impression on others. If we trip on a root or stumble as we walk, we look back, say “Oops,” laugh it off, and then keep walking. If we didn’t look back, people would think we were strange. Another example is when we forget things. We start walking to our destination and when we remember what we forgot, we snap our fingers, and say, “Oh crap,” or other choice words. If you just saw someone walk by and then all of a sudden turn around in the opposite direction without any indication of a mistake, again we would think something was strange about that person. In both instances, people most likely are not paying that close attention to you, but ultimately we are all observant people. If something out of the norm occurs, our eyes follow that.

What really matters in life

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I was asked to write what I would want to tell young ones I loved, if I only had two minutes to live. Since I love you all, I'll share it with you...

What really matters in life is that you take chances. Don't ever settle. Ever. You have so much to offer in this world even if you don't believe it. Find others who don't believe in themselves and make them believe that they matter. Be selfless. The more you look out for others the better you'll feel about yourself. Be humble. It's the hardest thing to do, but do it. Be the first to say you're sorry, even if it's not your fault. Make sure you spend time with family. You may not think it matters to them that you are present for a football game or choir concert, but when you aren't around any more they will appreciate the time you took to be with them. Leave a legacy that inspires others.

If you had minutes left in your life, what would you say? 

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What was I thinking?

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Pandora current song: She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5

In my summer blogs, I mentioned I was pursuing a job as a recruiter for Washington State University. I was trying to find something I could hold on to. Something solid. My life is ever consumed with uncertainty. I’ve been blessed with a life full experiences I’ve either forced on myself or have been lucky to be a part of. Yet, there’s still something missing. The satisfaction of accomplishing something, whether for a greater good or for those that need a push to start their own adventure, doesn’t ever seem to ever be completely fulfilled. Is it because I’m alone and don’t have someone to share it with? Maybe. Is it the fact that I am unsure of my future? Absolutely. Or what about the instability of the present? Sure. How about all of the above, plus trying to put a smile on my face so I can create and explore new opportunities for my students so they can get the most out of their college year? Shall I keep going?

With winning in mind

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Pandora current song: It's The Only One You've Got, by 3 Doors Down

With Winning in Mind, by Lanny Bassham, takes readers through a mental management journey. Most people don’t realize that mentally managing the game of life will make them more successful as well as those around them.

It doesn’t matter if you win or lose – until you lose!

Some people say that they never win at anything and that everyone else is more privileged because they are good at everything. For those people, they just haven’t found what they are good at yet. Maybe that person is always trying to be good at what everyone else thinks people should be good at. For example, football and baseball are two major spots that guys love to play and be good at. There are also guys who try so hard to be good at the sport but are never successful. To develop self-confidence, one needs to find something that they are confident in; something that boosts their confidence like art, a different sport, etc.

People lose due to poor mental management. It takes years of training or constant practice to learn how to cope with mental stress. After a person achieves this, he is confident and in control, have a different mentality and better self-image, and better attitudes and habits. People who a experts at mental management develop a system to control mental aspects of performance and, as a result, winning becomes a habit.