Saying goodbye to Peter Pan, Mrs. Doubtfire, the Genie, our friend - Robin Williams

This is something I wrote the day I went to the Doubtfire house in Pacific Heights here in San Francisco. I found it again, and thought the words mean just as much now as back in Aug. '14...

I found myself drawn to say goodbye to a friend that never knew me, but was a significant part of our lives.

It's tragic that someone so full of life, love and laughter felt so empty and overcome by dark demons.

We all find ourselves in darkness blinded by sadness, frustration, guilt and doubt. Yet, it's how we crawl, climb or sprint out of the shadows and into the light that keep us moving forward.

It's a reminder that life is short, family is important, friends are essential.


Don't hold back. Take every opportunity to inspire, challenge, grow, and love. You never know when it may be your last and God calls you home.

What will you leave behind?

Regrets or memories?

Boldly challenging status quo.

30 Regrets Not to Have in My Next 30 Years

I’ve spent precious time with my Papa Wilde, either on road trips or sitting on his back porch reminiscing about the past, talking hopefully about the future, but always with a voice of reason and caution. Now, as a man of leisure, he says, he has a lot of time to reflect and he’s spent some of that time wishing he had made other choices – been a better father, husband, etc. I wish he wouldn’t spend time regretting, but in fact, spend more time cherishing the great memories he did make and all the new ones yet to come.

Since my grandma passed about now almost 14 years ago, (man, that crushes my soul thinking about it), I think he wishes he would have made more of the time he’d had with her. She was, in fact, a beautiful, selfless, loving person who, to this day, is everything I hope to be someday. I don’t think she had a bad bone in her body, and even if someone told me she wasn’t perfect, I wouldn’t believe them ;)

The reason for this blog is because you never know when God will call you home. You shouldn’t exhaust precious moments wishing you had done things differently. To deflect that initially, you have to put the right people and plans first, but be willing to change course for the better if life sends you on a new adventure.

My Papa’s reflections, as sad as it makes me when I think about it, are valuable to me - to remind me not to have those regrets later, to remember to value the right people and things in life.

I’ll be thirty at the end of this year. Holy shit. I can’t believe it. Before I get there, here are 30 regrets I don’t want to have in my next 30 years.

1. Spending too little time with the right people. – Sooner or later, you just want to be around the people who make you smile. So today, spend time with those who help you love yourself more. And remember, the people you take for granted today may be the only ones you need tomorrow. Never be too busy to make time for those who matter most.
2. Not making your loved ones smile more often. – The most beautiful thing is to see a person you love smile, and even more beautiful is knowing that you are the reason behind it.

When life flashes before your eyes, will it be worth watching?

It's been awhile since we last met. I moved to San Francisco, traveled to a few new cities, my little sister got married, and I graduated with my MBA. I've met many new friends and spent precious time with old ones.

My dog, Blaze, and I are still thick as thieves hiking, backpacking, running, and swimming until we have no further energy to give.

OK, OK. Confession. I certainly get to a point of exhaustion sometimes, whereas Blaze is still ready to ascend another mountain or sprint through more trees. Rude, I tell you. No reason to show off like that in front of your owner and embarrass her! At least I have another being willing to keep up with me on a moment’s notice.

Anyway, I sit here on the beach watching the sun go down behind the Golden Gate Bridge with only a few crazy souls in the "cold" San Francisco winter wind. By no means is it Chicago weather, but we Californians are pansies. We can't deal with cold to save our lives.

It's dark and quiet, almost too quiet for this city. The water is calm and smooth; not at all fierce and threatening. I can’t hear any traffic, any voices, or really any noise pollution apart from my soft music and ocean waves.

I have finally jumped on the Spotify bandwagon after years of stubborn, brand-loyal me couldn't walk away from Pandora. This is relevant because my playlist is The Most Beautiful Songs in the World. Add calm waves and a light cool breeze, it's the makings of a reflective, thought-filled evening.

Pause. My fingers are about to fall off from the cold. It's 55°F and I've become a wuss. Too bad I don't have logs to make a beach fire. It's probably for the better as I’d get too comfortable and wake up to cops or bums telling me to get to steppin’.

What Gets You All Jacked Up About Life?

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It’s about time. I’ve been in beautiful Arizona for 455 days, or about 15 months. I’ve more or less found my groove with work, love being a student again, and found a bunch of odd things to do around the city (I mean suburbia) of Phoenix. These first few months can be compared to the first year of a relationship: you’re a bit uneasy, posing a little bit to morph to what the other likes, and put on a smile when things bother you after you subtly communicate the issue.

Let’s be real. When do I ever sit in the corner and let life pass before me? Never. Yet, I have morphed a bit to what the majority of people like to do around me. Going out every once in awhile is quite awesome, but when I’m surrounded by people that ONLY do that - I start to get bored. Like I said in my last blog, I’ve identified my missing links. It may sound cliché, but COME ON PEOPLE! We only live once.

What about you? Do you feel fulfilled with the life you’re living? What do you wish you could do, but just don’t? You could be working for a fantastic company you couldn’t even dream of, surrounded by some pretty entertaining people, living a comfortable life.

Finding Inspiration Again

It’s been awhile and don’t get me wrong - I’ve been inspired, but wow! The year has just blown by. I’ve been through my first year as an MBA student, been at Yelp through the wild ride it’s been, and even spent a month in Europe!

I was on such a high when I came back from Europe. The culture, the history, people, food - the list goes on. I was so inspired by what I saw and learned; I just couldn’t hide it upon return. But then, disaster struck and I dove way down. I was incredibly sad to not be in Europe any more, surrounded by about 50 people from across the world who also decided to take the MBA class like me.

There was no drama. At all! Weird? I thought so too, but we all clicked like we’d known each other for ages. You could morph into any group for meals, trips during the week, or long excursions on the weekends. I couldn’t have planned a more successful trip!

What am I missing here that makes me long for that again, or long for school to start up again? It’s people I’m surrounded with that inspire me, challenge me, and genuinely enjoy similar things as me (well mostly outdoor, crazy things!). Most of my close friends have munchkins, significant others, or partake in activities that are true to my character. Totally not judging and so love everyone of them, but I feel like I’m missing something.

Simple Gestures Can Make All the Difference

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You never know when a simple hello, hug or smile will truly make someone’s day. A simple gesture of love or genuine care to show someone you notice them, could be the difference that person needs to have a brighter outlook on life.

I should have gone into psychology. I’m naturally good at it (not to toot my own horn, but it’s true) and have personal experience dealing with people or observing their reactions to situations. I’m like a heat seeking missile to people in trouble, who need a shoulder to cry on or talk to, who need a little personal direction, or whatever else someone needs. I just get people. I took enough psychology to understand the underlying relationship between actions and reactions, but I also have the knack of observation. Put all of that together and I’m your unofficial counselor friend!

Going back to the reason for this blog. I’ve been dealing with a few of my students and friends who have troubling outlooks on life. They take reality and create an extreme version in their minds of situations, and then cultivate those thoughts to become their new reality.

Some people don’t understand why others don’t know how to pull themselves together. Don’t understand why others think the way they do. It can be taxing to try to understand, but it can also be difficult for people to express themselves as well. Maybe someday I’ll go into depth about what I’m talking about, but for now, just trust me.

Deeply, emotionally, passionately care about the people around you. If you make their day, someday they’ll be there to make yours.

Boldly challenge status quo.

(To be continued...)

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What is love?

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When I think of this, all I want to do is break out into song... "What is love? Baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more!" But that's not what I want to talk about, yet when you love someone, they're bound to hurt you. If you love them enough, is it worth it to work through the pain to make it better?

One of my students asked me the other day what love meant to me, and she told me she'd explain later. Background: This student doesn't use the word love lightly. Her and her parents hardly even use it for each other, as it's assumed their love is already known. Apparently a few students feel the same way. "People (family & friends) should just know I love them. There's no need to say it."

Wow, to me, there should never be a day you don't tell the people you love, that you indeed love them. I'm only 25, but there have already been instances where I wish I would have told close family or friends I loved them more. You never know when today will be their last. Or yours.

Lack of Respect with WSU Representation

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I am very passionate about being a good role model for others no mater how old they are. I also have WSU Cougar blood running through my veins. Washington State University is not only an institution, but it's a community of some of the most genuine and hardworking people I know. It may not have been where I wanted to go at first, but it was exactly where I needed to be and I do not regret that and never will.

With that said, I am extremely disappointed in our WSU basketball team, the coach and our athletic director. Three students on the team have been caught with marijuana putting a bad taste in everyone's mouth, especially now with national coverage since our team is in the semifinals. As far as legalizing marijuana, I'm not going to use it but I don't really care what happens either way. It's a personal decision, but I'll be the first to not allow my kids around it. However, that's not what I'm frustrated about. It is the fact that marijuana is ILLEGAL at the moment and students who are supposed to be representing WSU in its entirty as a ball player have been caught with it. Moreover, we have an athletic director that lifted the suspension of a ball player just so he could play in the NIC tournament and a coach who started that same player.

So I wrote a letter to the editor of WSU's Daily Evergreen, which you can read below. What are your thoughts?

Personally, WSU needs to step it up. Regain respect among Americans. And POSITIVELY boldly challenge status quo.

http://www.dailyevergreen.com/story/33836

Stop, Look & Listen

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Side note: My title makes me want to yell out in a cheer from high school! (Dedicated to my Wolf Pack!)

I get so annoyed with myself. When friends are stressed, heartbroken, unnerved, or frustrated with life, my heart literally aches for them and I can’t seem to get it off my mind. The motherly instinct kicks in (and I don’t even have kids yet!! Good grief!) and I just want to fix everything. I hate when I can’t help people, or fix problems. It’s the same reason why I hate when people are disappointed or mad at me, and I have no control over changing their opinion. Why is it that we have such deep bonds like this for our dearest friends and feel helpless when we can’t fix the pain, or why we go to any length to help those in need? But more so, why don’t we trust each other enough to be completely open and honest so those of us that want to fix it can pinpoint the problem!?

Simple answer. We’re human. Past experiences of others destroying our capability to trust others. The thought that others are judging us for being “weak” when pouring our hearts out. Because we have become a selfish public without genuine care or the art of listening. And because it becomes humorous when we struggle with ignorance. If you saw a man repeatedly running into a wall until he was a bloody pulp, after awhile it would make you laugh because it was so absurd. For this exact reason, we throw the wall up to relieve ourselves from embarrassment. It is unfortunate that we build walls so high and tough, that few people know how to break through. No one wants to get hurt, but life isn’t about being safe.

Ideas for Lasting Relationships

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I read an article the other morning about lasting relationships, which perfectly enough, I quoted in a conversation later that day. One of my students was having a bad day, not knowing why she would just all of a sudden start crying for no apparent reason. I told her to come find me if she needed to talk. I had a sneaky suspicion, but sometimes it’s hard for people to say things out loud because it makes it real. I know that all to well from my own personal relationships. But I also know that not talking about the things on our minds, the harder it is to logically think through the madness.

She showed up in my office a few hours later. We had our initial small talk session and then I went right into what was going on. I nailed it. She was having personal problems with her boy friend, but she didn’t want to really deal with them because she cares so much for him that she kept locking the frustrations away, only to finally break down “without any apparent reason.” The ever-present, yet constantly consciously forgotten, “Love is Blind” came into full swing. Why is it that so many people try to rationalize issues that will later destroy a relationship just because they remember “the good times?” Anyway, I pulled out the listed characteristics and gave it to her straight.

When considering a “soulmate,” you better have these characteristics figured out:

Craving Mental Stimulation

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Pandora current song: Only Hope, Switchfoot

The last few weeks have made me realize why I NEED to go back to school. Since graduation, I haven’t had to use my noggin as much as I used to. I’ve been working in areas I am good at and have excelled greatly. Yet, my recent projects haven’t been easy. I’ve created and implemented political events, helped sign multimillion dollar leases, morphed an old building into a residence hall, built a positive cash-flow company and managed from the ground up, developed a position for myself within the university and furthermore designed a new position to expand student involvement on campus.

The surprising truth about what motivates us

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This may be 10 minutes long, but I promise you'll enjoy this! What a great way to scrunch in A LOT of awesome information!

Live boldly challenging status quo!

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Helping Others By Telling Your Story

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I think the most humble and selfless act in life is to tell your story to help others. Whether that's to express the pain you went through to hopefully save others or enable those who've been through the same thing to feel like they aren't alone, that is true character.

A friend of mine, Matt Pipkin, was sexually assaulted when he was 5 years old. Just a child. A young boy. Many of you could never imagine such pain and suffering to hold something like that in for years and years. I can't even imagine it myself. However, he was finally able to open up about it two years ago and is doing really well!

The reason I'm writing about this is that he's flying for AT LEAST 65 days WITHOUT landing (world record) and somehow conned his dad to fly with him. Bathrooms and showers? Well, even I have no idea how that will work. The cool and most important part about this is the national platform he's flying for: childhood sexual abuse. 1 in 3 young girls and 1 in 6 young boys have been sexually assaulted prior to the age of 18. It's a serious problem and Matt has taken it upon himself to raise awareness to show others that if it happened to them, it's not their fault.

But he needs your help!! Share his story on facebook, twitter, to your family and friends. Watch him on the Today Show, follow his story as it unfolds. It's such an inspiring story and I want you all to get engaged!

The easiest thing for you to do is spread the word! If you feel so inclined to help financially, that would be amazing as well! He has 53 days left and needs to raise $50K. Every dollar counts!

Of course, I can't give justice to his story. Watch this short presentation to hear his story in his own words!

So get excited and help stop this national tragedy!

Visit http://commit365.org/ for more information.

Matt Pipkin

Twitter: @commit65 and @themattpipkin

Facebook: search “Commit 65”

Matt's email: purduepipkin@gmail.com

Matt is Boldly Challenging Status Quo. How about you?

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Why do we do the crazy things we do?

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Pandora current song: Breathe In, Frou Frou

Self-presentation and perception. This is a major theme of thought in peoples’ minds whether directly or indirectly. What we do, how we do it, what we wear, what we say is all a part of identity for ourselves in others’ minds. It is in our culture to come up with excuses for things done wrong. Who wants to take the blame and be the dimwit who made the mistake, especially if it wasn’t even our fault? Humility and honor is a characteristic we put on the shelf when we really need it most. Yet, it is good for our identity to admit mistakes and show our vulnerability. Actions we take also account for our impression on others. If we trip on a root or stumble as we walk, we look back, say “Oops,” laugh it off, and then keep walking. If we didn’t look back, people would think we were strange. Another example is when we forget things. We start walking to our destination and when we remember what we forgot, we snap our fingers, and say, “Oh crap,” or other choice words. If you just saw someone walk by and then all of a sudden turn around in the opposite direction without any indication of a mistake, again we would think something was strange about that person. In both instances, people most likely are not paying that close attention to you, but ultimately we are all observant people. If something out of the norm occurs, our eyes follow that.

What really matters in life

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I was asked to write what I would want to tell young ones I loved, if I only had two minutes to live. Since I love you all, I'll share it with you...

What really matters in life is that you take chances. Don't ever settle. Ever. You have so much to offer in this world even if you don't believe it. Find others who don't believe in themselves and make them believe that they matter. Be selfless. The more you look out for others the better you'll feel about yourself. Be humble. It's the hardest thing to do, but do it. Be the first to say you're sorry, even if it's not your fault. Make sure you spend time with family. You may not think it matters to them that you are present for a football game or choir concert, but when you aren't around any more they will appreciate the time you took to be with them. Leave a legacy that inspires others.

If you had minutes left in your life, what would you say? 

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