To be good or to be bad - that is the ethical question

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Pandora current song: I Go Back, by Kenny Chesney

Ethics play a big role in every decision people make on a daily basis. They are principles and morals that govern the appropriate conduct of an individual or group. Throughout my life, I’ve been a prime target for others to harass me based on my leadership techniques. Honestly, I should be used to it, but I am also one who HATES it when others are frustrated with me. I do everything in my power to make everyone else happy before I ever care to worry about myself. Sure I get run over in the process, which is probably why I’m an easy target with my submissive personality waving the white flag.

I know a lot of you who know me are thinking, “no way is she submissive. She sticks to her opinions and no one can come close to blasting those walls down.” I never said I wasn’t stubborn. However, I also have learned to pick my battles and only stick up for issues that mean something to me or for the greater good of a community or even more, the world.

Like I said before, I always loved my sorority, but it didn’t always love me back. The ethical climate would have received low marks during certain “reins” throughout my time on campus. People in power abused it by making decisions they shouldn’t have, but also belittled those they didn’t particularly like. Sounds petty, but true. However, we see it in everyday life. Those with power or titles use it to their advantage and screw the “peons” in the process, while they gain more and more.

One semester in my sorority, I was taken aside almost every week to be down graded and nit picked for every weakness or fault. It was humiliating and frustrating. Want to know why? Well let me tell you...

Don't assume

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Pandora current song: Amber, by 311

“The challenge of leadership is coming to a common purpose from the vast differences that individuals bring to a situation. Finding the purpose, vision, and common commitments that create a ‘we’ from a group of individuals is the challenge of a community” (Exploring Leadership 139). Life throws challenges at us every move or decision we make. No one ever said it would be easy; it’s just how you deal with what life sets forth in front of you.

Gender is a black and white topic of how people are viewed. Or is it? For instance, when I first walked into our leadership class, people judged me for being 1. Being a Tri Delta and sorority girl 2. Somewhat attractive 3. Blonde and 4. Confident. A classmate of mine said exactly those words. He thought I was going to be a cocky piece of work who he wouldn’t be able to get along with because I was "one who thought she knew everything because things are always handed to me on a golden platter." Little did he know I was far from a snotty, stereotypical, sorority girl.

With winning in mind

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Pandora current song: It's The Only One You've Got, by 3 Doors Down

With Winning in Mind, by Lanny Bassham, takes readers through a mental management journey. Most people don’t realize that mentally managing the game of life will make them more successful as well as those around them.

It doesn’t matter if you win or lose – until you lose!

Some people say that they never win at anything and that everyone else is more privileged because they are good at everything. For those people, they just haven’t found what they are good at yet. Maybe that person is always trying to be good at what everyone else thinks people should be good at. For example, football and baseball are two major spots that guys love to play and be good at. There are also guys who try so hard to be good at the sport but are never successful. To develop self-confidence, one needs to find something that they are confident in; something that boosts their confidence like art, a different sport, etc.

People lose due to poor mental management. It takes years of training or constant practice to learn how to cope with mental stress. After a person achieves this, he is confident and in control, have a different mentality and better self-image, and better attitudes and habits. People who a experts at mental management develop a system to control mental aspects of performance and, as a result, winning becomes a habit.

My way or the highway, or sure used to be!

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Pandora current song: Downtown Song, by Anberlin

David Hoopes’ model about cultural competency illustrates the development of cultural competency in everyone of us. I can also use it to examine my own development as a leader as it’s a great model to ‘step inside’ yourself.  Truthfully, I was once in the ethnocentrism stage for a large amount of my growing up. Ethnocentricity is a state of relying on your own and only your own, paradigms. It was my way or the highway. It was when I had a few wake up calls where I realized there are other ways besides my own. We all develop into the people we become through our different experiences and hopefully we learn to become progressive, positive responders to situations than we used to be in our younger years.  I believe that I am at the end stages now, but it sure wasn't always the case.

One wakeup call was none other than cheerleading. To begin with, I used to be the quiet girl in the classroom that was only “known” to my best friend and a few acquaintances. Other than that, I had no outside school social life. Now I realize how ridiculous that sounds, but like I said in earlier posts, I didn't know who I really wanted to be.  In 9th grade, I was ready for a change. I wanted to be a part of something in school so I was not just another girl at school. I decided to try out for the cheer team. I can promise you that I looked like the biggest hooligan with no prior dancing experience, but I had wanted it so badly.

In tenth grade, I was back on the bottom of the totem pole. I went to the state’s biggest school, South Kitsap High School, so of course I was intimidated. However, I had promised myself that I would be involved. I was in ASB, 4-H, Key Club, FFA, Tennis, and cheer, among other things. Like junior high cheer, I was not very good to start with, but my drive and dedication would not let me give up. I ended up making the team after three tryouts. I ended up on varsity cheer my senior year and was so dedicated to it, that I missed out on a German exchange opportunity to go back to Germany for the summer. I was distraught, but I couldn’t leave my team. I can always go to Germany, but I can never relive my senior year in high school.

Higher education empowers effective leadership

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Pandora current song: Kryptonite, by 3 Doors Down

Higher education is the major developer of leaders in today’s society. Legacies are what people strive for acting as change-agents of his/her college campus as well as later in life. Social change will not happen without people striving to make a difference. One person can shock the status quo, but a group can blast through barriers while cultivating a quality environment and encouraging each other. Leadership is rooted in virtually any individual. It may take encouragement or opportunity, but I promise the “leader” bud is waiting to bloom if you let it. Leadership holds the key to transforming any project, student, campus, and community, and ultimately the world.

Effective leadership is an essential ingredient of positive social change. But what is the extent of effective leadership? Effective leadership can be defined as leadership that effects change. Duh, right? Some changes are for the better and some are not. People could argue that Hitler was a great leader as he rose to the top and got Germany to rally with him and his beliefs and they followed. After he knew he had control, he used it for destruction and we all know where that led. He caused change in thought and actions. An effective leader is one who people trust, hopefully for the betterment of the whole, who set goals and utilizes the group to achieve them.

Life Revolving Around Rumors

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Pandora current song: How to Save a Life, by The Fray

Rumors are a dirty game. Rumors can lie, cheat and steal someone’s life and those who start them, lose out too. Sometimes they’re based on stereotype and then stories just seem to flourish. Even stereotypes are a bad way to think you “know” someone. Granted we all use them on a daily basis, otherwise it would take too long to understand every miniscule piece of information that’s passed through our eyes to our brains. But rumors have an even worse connotation.

I’m sure rumors have been started about you, so how’d you feel? Like scum on the bottom of a sink drain, right? So why do people find joy in passing rumors. Sometimes it’s due to jealous feelings regarding something they don’t have or something they wish they didn’t. Sometimes it’s due to overcompensating a true story. However it starts, it’s gossip that’s usually a mixture of truth and untruth. Most people don’t take the time to figure out what’s true or not and just believe it all as fact.

The Difficult Lesson of Learning to Accept Differences

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Pandora current song: Variations, by David Nevue

Opposites tend to fascinate us because they add variety to life and pull us from our comfortable rut of familiarity. Opposites stretch us beyond ourselves, forcing us to broaden our horizons and provide opportunities for growth. It’s from them that we learn our most difficult lessons. They expose us to thoughts, feelings, and experiences that are foreign to us. So why don't we accept people who are "different" from us more often?

I once had a student who asked me why he did things so differently. “Will things fall slowly into place and make me the best man I can be for I have not been influenced by the words and actions of others who are unaware that they may be living the standard prepackaged life that has been put upon by them by some influence? Or am I stubborn, stupid and blind for that is how life is suppose to be lived and happiness can only be achieved not by dreaming but by doing what we should do and not what we were born to do?”

Student activism

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Pandora current song: Yellow, by Coldplay

I’ve always believed in involvement no matter where I live, but especially when I was in school. I miss the easy opportunities, and can’t wait to dive right back into them when I go for my MBA in Aug 2011. Being involved gives people a sense of ownership, uniting for a cause or purpose. Creating and upholding traditions while passionately leading and following for that cause. It could be a sorority, a team, a society, organization, work place, institution, or charity. Caring about the outcome and celebrating the successes, even if minute one, can give a person a reason to grow and learn.

Earlier this year, I gave our students a platform to create a forum to ban together to voice their opinions about operations at our school. They didn’t seem to be heard previously, so I thought I would make sure they were. A student meeting where no administration, besides myself, were present to talk openly and honestly. There weren’t any subjects off limits and I wanted them to be as candid as a Kodak moment.

Leadership: Who’s got it? Who’s willing to step up to the plate? You all can. Even in just little ways.

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Pandora current song: Dare You to Move, by Switchfoot

What is leadership? This question is widely talked about, yet widely confusing. Not one style is effective for every situation life throws at us. Some people believe leaders are born and others think leaders are made. There is a love-hate relationship between leaders and followers. Some people think leaders are elitists, manipulative, or bigheaded. People want self-confident leaders, but leaders who have at least a little self-doubt. But, how do leaders actually lead? Better yet, how do we assess how well they lead? People also want leaders who are good listeners and who represent their constituents. A person may be an outstanding leader here, but fail there. People expect their leaders to be “perfect,” so when they mess up, or fail, people feel let down.

Leaders possess many things including traits, behaviors, and their histories. At first, researchers thought those who became leaders were different from those who remained followers. However, there was no such pattern. Different people can handle different situations better than others. Personal and situational characteristics should be considered when examining a person’s leadership and capabilities. “Training provides the leader with knowledge, procedures, and techniques which increase his or her sense of control over the group’s task activities” (Wren 87). Personal histories teach new and better ways of approaching situations in the future. It just depends on how open people are to making those changes.

Martin Luther King, Jr. was a very different leader in many ways. He didn’t want people remembering him for his accomplishments, but for his purpose in life. “He was a profound and provocative speaker” who was full of self-doubts, and keenly aware of his own limitations and human weaknesses (Wren 320). He willingly risked his popularity among blacks through his steadfast advocacy of nonviolent strategies to achieve radical social change. He didn’t care what people thought of him, as long as in the long run, his efforts where worth his cause. The way he is portrayed in most history books is that he was self-confident and full of leadership and the power to make change. Further research shows how human he really was and not as God-like as people try to describe him. “King’s success as a leader was based on his intellectual and moral cogency and his skill as a conciliator among movement activists who refused to be simply King’s ‘followers’ (Wren 322). His wide range of skills and attributes prepared him for what was to come at him. Persuasive speaking wasn’t a bad quality either. His encouragement and struggles gave people someone who was just like themselves to count on. He offered optimistic belief that ordinary people can collectively improve their own lives.

Personally, I would love to be more like MLK. I try to show how capable I am when really I should be just doing my job and doing the best I can without caring what other people think. A lot of times I think my way is the best way, but some people are great at one thing and worse at others. Good leadership improves outcomes when people work together for a common cause and use each others’ strengths to get the job done efficiently and effectively.

If we stay together, we survive; apart we fall.

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Pandora current song: California, by Phantom Planet

This has either been a very common motto for many companies or hidden in a purpose. Leadership coincides with many different aspects of life. The organizational and succession side of leadership has become very important and will continue in the future. “The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing” (Albert Einstein). For those who do nothing, their companies, either large or small, will fail. There are many strategies for preventing this from happening including organization and succession techniques.

Since the world we live in is ever-changing and rapidly continues to advance, leaders need to be constantly rethinking what they do, what their purpose is, and best define goals and objectives. Goals are the core to any business or franchise. Without them, there is no basis for people to work off of. Behaviors come next followed by artifacts and symbols. The organizational handout explains that shared basic assumptions that a group learned as it solved its problems and have worked well together, need to teach new members the correct way to perceive, think, and feel in relation to those problems, or even successes in other cases.

Stick Up for What YOU Believe In

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Pandora current song: Butterflies and Hurricanes, by Muse

This is a long one, but it’s my favorite so far. When you get time, read on!

I love movies. I love them so much that I have 3 DVD binders full of them and counting. Ever since I moved into my own apartment after sorority life, I haven't had cable TV. I was never home during school and that's still the case for work. Online TV has been a savior for sure. I do miss news in the morning and night, but that's what Twitter and homepage widgets are for.

What can you learn from a movie?

I actually did a study in college about movies and leadership, but I didn't continue as much as I should have. (Sorry Connan!) But I did do a few speeches to student leadership groups about Remember the Titans. Remember the Titans (RTT) is by far my favorite movie out there. It’s a great model of leadership, teamwork and victory, and I’ve seen it more times than any other movie combined.

For a little refresher course, RTT is based on a true story about the coming of society and the integration of two high schools – one black, one white. Tensions arise when players of the different racial high schools are forced to play together. Many of the frustrations are put at ease during training camp, but when they return home, turmoil boils up again.

So let me share with you a few things I spoke about...

One of Life’s Tough Adventures

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Pandora current song: Fat Bottomed Girls, by Queen

Communication. Some people are really good at expressing their feelings and others aren’t. Some people aren’t afraid to tell you wants on their mind, while others hold it in. Some people have a few ticks up their sleeve to mask their fright of communicating issues, while others overcompensate.

This is something I'm still learning too. I usually try to make everyone else happy by steering clear of confrontation. This blew up in my face two summers ago when I was working for someone I used to trust and appreciate. She could be one of the top 10 best manipulators in the world, and she knew it.

One of the Greatest Men I’ve Ever Known, Besides my Dad

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Pandora current song: Wherever You Will Go, by The Calling

George F. Garlick is a man of principle and moral values. He grew up having just barely enough money. At an early age, he became the sole provider for the family. An incredibly talented and brilliant man, George received his bachelor’s degree at South Dakota School of Mines & Technology, master’s degree from the University of Southern California in 1960, and doctorate from Iowa State University in 1962. George is the founder, CEO, and Chairman of the Board of Holosonic, Inc., founded in 1969. He is also the President and Founder/Partner of Garlick Enterprises, Inc., Holographic Engineering LLC, Stevens Center Business Park and Advanced Imaging Technology, which was selected as the best new radiology company by the 80,000 member Radiological Society of North America (RSNA) in 2002.

The little town of Curtis

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Pandora current song: Grey Street, by Dave Matthews Band 

OK. So I feel like I didn't give the little town of Curtis justice. Yes, it's hard for me to live here with nothing but work to do, but when I'm really honest with myself, it has a lot to offer.

I used to drive through little towns, like Washtucna, WA, on my way to school and I thought nothing of them. Now living in one of those small farming and ranching towns, I've come to understand what they are really about.

Bashelf: My little/big sister

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Pandora current song: Black Balloon, by The Goo Goo Dolls

So you may have been thinking, "Britni hasn't talked about her sister...not even once yet!" Well, that's because I was waiting to write a whole post on her. She's my younger, taller sister who will turn 21 on March 10, 1010 and I'm bummed I'll miss her big day.

What's Bashelf you ask? Well, when I was little, I couldn't pronounce her middle name, Michelle. For some reason, the name has stuck with her and will for the rest of her life. It truly made me smile when she put "Bashelf" on her high school sports gear as her name, instead of Ashley.

So you're in Curtis...doing what?

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Pandora current song: What I've Done, by Linkin Park

Why the heck am I in Curtis? I ask myself that almost every day. I moved from Dallas, TX to Curtis, NE. Does anyone actually know where that is?

Well, we have 791 people where the closest 23K town is 50 miles away and the nearest "city" is about 5 hours away (Denver, CO).

I went from having a life in work, friends, and church, to a life of work, work and more work. I'm not one to gamble, drink, or party. My friends are the friends George Garlick, my boss, had from going to school here...over 50 years ago. Don’t get me wrong though. The older folks are the most genuine and kind people I’ve ever met and I constantly learn from them every time I’m around them. My students are my entertainment. They visit my office to talk, get homework help, get advice, and whatever else they need. Other than that, I stick to my office or my apartment out in the country a few miles south of town.

In the beginning...

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Pandora current song: Cry Baby Cry, by The Beattles

Hello friends,

I've finally decided to write my blog. Didn't know what to write, but I think I've got it! My daily challenges, empowerment, obstacles, mentoring, living, loving, and everything in between.

As for me, I'm not your every day girl. Yeah I wake up every morning wishing I were thinner, prettier, wiser, taller, blah blah blah. But what really matters is the way I live my life, my decisions and the opportunities that I've been able to partake in at a young age.

Here's a "little" background...