Pandora current song: I Go Back, by Kenny Chesney
I know a lot of you who know me are thinking, “no way is she submissive. She sticks to her opinions and no one can come close to blasting those walls down.” I never said I wasn’t stubborn. However, I also have learned to pick my battles and only stick up for issues that mean something to me or for the greater good of a community or even more, the world.
Like I said before, I always loved my sorority, but it didn’t always love me back. The ethical climate would have received low marks during certain “reins” throughout my time on campus. People in power abused it by making decisions they shouldn’t have, but also belittled those they didn’t particularly like. Sounds petty, but true. However, we see it in everyday life. Those with power or titles use it to their advantage and screw the “peons” in the process, while they gain more and more.
One semester in my sorority, I was taken aside almost every week to be down graded and nit picked for every weakness or fault. It was humiliating and frustrating. Want to know why? Well let me tell you...
My pledge class (women who all joined the sorority in the same year) elected me as their representative for a nomination committee, also known as Nom Com. This committee took the opinions of each class and then created a slate of women whom we thought were the best for the leadership positions throughout the upcoming year. As we were choosing who would be the best for officers, things could not have been better. Or so I thought. As a sophomore, I was picked as one out of two people in the chapter for presidency. I was on cloud nine. I could not believe people thought I was that great of a leader to be elected as a sophomore to lead over 100 women into a positive future. Both nominees for the position were on Nom Com. We ended up sitting out of the committee meeting for an hour and a half waiting to see who the rest of the committee chose as our next president. When we walked back in, I was told I was the next president of our chapter. The other nominee, a junior in college, was obviously devastated that a younger member beat her out. She actually started bawling and whining that she was better fit for the position. Technically, each woman for each position is selected to fulfill the duties is the most qualified with the best intentions for the greater good of the sorority. Well my cloud nine status quickly dwindled as somehow the sorority figured out the person slated for president before our slate was revealed and the nominations had to be recreated.
After the first Nom Com, the junior did everything to make my life miserable. She turned so many of my sisters against me and for once, I hated being a Tri Delta. I felt so betrayed and the girls I thought were my friends would not talk to me. She ended up getting the presidency and then followed up by trying to prove she was the best by belittling me in any way she could.
I have to admit, it was not easy being shunned for just being me. I hadn’t done anything wrong, but it was the sheer thought that ran through her mind that I could have been in her position. Pathetic, I know, but I’m sure we all know people like this. How did they make you feel? Well through it all, I learned to watch how I interact with others. I never wanted to make anyone feel the same way - as little as an ant on a hill that anyone could squish dead. I will always have the best intentions for people as I go through life.
That sorority sister didn’t stop with me though. She let her friends get away with every possible rule, laughed at people who made mistakes, manipulated people to think and act the way she wanted. Yet, she was supposed to be the first one to uphold the rules. Honestly, how can people function like that? Based on a human nature perspective of ethics, I believe hate is a result of ignorance and arrogance. Superiority is thought to go to who is more right and the morally excluded people are denied their rights, dignity, and autonomy. This is completely unethical based on almost every perspective of life and it should stop now.
We see this kind of personality everywhere we go. People who ride coattails and never respect those that helped them get to where they are today. Those who don’t value the hard working, but only care about how much cash in their own bank. We do ourselves disservice with self-indulgence, self-concern, and self-worship. People need to start caring about others. If you start to care for the greater good of people, it’ll in turn help you succeed as well.
In the position I’m in now, I try to help students grow by never looking down on them, but hopefully getting them to learn new approaches, skills, or tactics. I try to use a dialogical perspective of ethics consisting of honesty, concern for welfare, genuineness, encouragement of free expression, and acceptance of others as individuals with intrinsic worth regardless of differences of belief or behavior. The trust and respect factor play a role as well.
Either way, if someone breaks a rule or does something wrong, I can’t stay mad at them. My heart can’t take it! Yet, using tact with those who’ve hurt us is the only way to “win” the battle. Sure, I’m not perfect. I lose it too, but if I can learn to control my anger, I can control the situation. Everyday presents itself with opportunities to learn - we can welcome them or turn our heads.
There are many ways to be more supportive, especially without hypocrisy. Realize actions have consequences and what is really ethical and what isn’t. In times of crisis, our judgment and decisions concerning ethical persuasion tend to stem less from deliberation than from our formed character, but it’s during those situations where the true characteristics of a person shine through. The Five Ethical Principles in Decision Making is the greatest checklist. People need to remember to treat others with the same respect they want in return. Benefit all and not just one’s self can encourage positive morale. Be JUST in decision making with every aspect of life as well as be faithful to others and yourself to encourage others to do the same. Encourage critical thinking to analyze components of problems to create and possess high degrees of integrity. Show people the ability to see situations from others’ perspectives - to listen to each other and learn from others. And ALWAYS encourage personal motivation to do the right thing!
Boldly challenging status quo!
Pandora current song: Troubled Heart, by Kutless
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